Since reality television has graced its ugly head on society, the public could always count on some type of washed up celebrity gossip.

Whether TV crews were filming step by step footage of an ex-child star’s rehab process with their rich families, who have no significance to this planet,  ’reality’ in some way has let us down. Who are these people who care so much about others despair and glory? In fact, it’s YOU! Are our lives, here in Lamesville, so boring that we turn to these pointless shows to give us satisfactory in our own life?  Whatever the case may be, remember, these are all lonely individuals who feed off of your retinas, which are slowly crusting over from lack of movement.  They show no weakness, and will continue to punish society with nonsense.

To all pointless stars everywhere, once again you are making a list. Don’t worry!  It’s not the ‘cocaine with a little ass play’ buyer’s list from Andy Dick’s personal collection. This is the NewsFlask.com, new reality-show pitch: ‘Survival of the Whitest!’

Survival of the Whitest is a show based around, you guessed it, unimportant white people who have been disregarded because of a more talented ethnicity. And now they are teaming up to take television back.

1. Carrie Fisher – Actually, at one time we believe Carrie made the Andy Dick list. But to all ‘smoke-shows’ out there; be careful of the gate-way drugs or you’ll end up like this.  Her job on our show will be helping younger stars by getting them in contact with hers (or dealer).

Then – Every boy’s fantasy

Now – Who knows?

2. Tara Reid – At one time she was a super hot chick, who now has been downgraded to a pointless rich chick with bad breath. Tara will be the ‘sex’ factor of our show.

Then – Orgasmic star of the American Pie franchise

Now – Drunk and lost in life

3. Macaulay Culkin – Once a national treasure with witty pranks. He will be our show’s source of testosterone.

Then - Lovable and witty

Now – The pranks on him

4. Dustin Diamond – One of the worse television actors of all time, Dustin actually contacted us when he found out about the pitch.

Then – Funny Saved by the Bell star

Now – PORN! Really?

Here is a list of actors we have put on the wait-list until further determination of class and funny are revealed.

Jonathan Taylor Thomas – The face of ‘Gay’ Magazines

David Faustino – ‘Grandmaster B’ is still rapping

Johnathan Lipnicki – His stay was brief, but he captured our hearts