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The John Stamos Snuggle Guide

December 18, 2011 in Best of YouTube, Celebrities, Entertainment, Just Plain Funny, TV

For every husband, boyfriend or casual sex-smith out there, here is a video that will help with the life long headache of the snuggle. A step by step guide by two heterosexual actors (John Stamos and Bob Saget) is the perfect way to get the point across to your slumber counterpart, or to view for your own personal learning pleasure. After you nonchalantly place the video for your unsuspecting partner to view, the pre and post game bedroom ritual of the snuggle will be delivered by Uncle Jesse himself.

via YouTube

Tags: Bob Saget, celebrities, funny, John Stamos, video, YouTube
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Hulk Hogan Sues Ex-Wife Linda Hogan

December 13, 2011 in Celebrities, Entertainment, Sports, TV, Wrestling

For all you Hulkamaniacs out there, here’s a NewsFlask for ya! The Hulkster is gay, brother! Or so says ex-wife ,Linda.

Instead of finishing her recent tell-all book with a ‘Atomic Leg Drop’, Linda instead let the ball drop on her husband Terry ‘Hulk’ Hogan’s violence and homosexual tendencies. Aka he likes wieners. Not only did she deface Hogan’s character, but her claim states that he had sexual relations with life-long friend Brutus ‘The Barber’ Beefcake.

Because of these allegations, Hogan and Beefcake are suing Linda for defamation of character, denying the rumors.

Hogan told Us Weekly he was baffled by the claims.

“After the four-year crazy divorce I thought I’d heard everything I could hear in the courtroom,” he said.

“Then, all of a sudden she says I abused her, that I was violent. She told everybody that I was a homosexual.

“If any of that was true, I would admit it, and [if] I was a homosexual I would embrace it.

“It’s just so crazy to hear, so I have a real problem with it.

“If you’re going to say I’m something that I’m not to try to ruin my career and my livelihood … I have to answer her back.

“It’s so ridiculous. I don’t mean to laugh about it, because it’s not funny. But it’s insane. It doesn’t make any sense to me.”

Whether you believe the gossip the worldwide web delivers, this seems to be just another ‘Hogan’ marketing ploy. How else is Linda going to sell her book, ‘Wrestling the Hulk: My Life Against the Ropes’? The Hogan family have done this before with their reality show, son’s accident, and the couple’s divorce. So it wouldn’t be a far stretch of the imagination.

It’s a good thing most of the wrestling community ~~won’t~~ can’t read this book. I mean, even if they could, who are they to slam people for telling a story that is highly inaccurate for the sake of higher ratings, right?

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Tags: book, celebrities, divorce, Hulk Hogan, marriage, wrestling, WWE
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“Snooki” by Nicole Polizzi. The Fragrance of the Jersey Shore

December 9, 2011 in Celebrities, Entertainment, TV

The recent surge of celebrities jumping on the fragrance band-wagon is a maddening phenomenon. As if these money-hungry stars don’t have enough cash flow, they throw some magic potion in a bottle and sell it to their unwavering fans for hundreds of dollars a pop. We’ve seen it in droves lately.

Forbes Magazine reports that the top 10 bestselling perfumes of 2010 brought in $250 million in the US.

How do the stars market their fragrances? It’s simple. “Buy this fragrance and smell like ________insert annoying celebrity icon here!”

But the question is—who REALLY wants to smell like Snooki?

The Jersey Shore star, Nicole Polizzi, recently released a fragrance. Reportedly smelling like cotton candy and wood. Couldn’t sound more appetizing, right? Throw in hints of lychee, quince flower, kiwi, pink cupcake accord, jasmine flower, beach flower, and sugared musk and you’ve got yourself the sweet scent of…..regret.

Snooki’s perfume launch doesn’t come in isolation, she’s well on her way to building a successful empire. Despite recently telling GQ Magazine in an interview that she doesn’t read, the star (and I use that term loosely) is a bestselling author. Her latest book, “Confessions of a Guidette” was a huge hit. She’s also landed numerous endorsement deals, launched a line of Snooki slippers, and of course—Snooki tanning lotion. What girl doesn’t want that luminous terrifyingly orange glow? Handbags and sunglasses are reportedly up next.

What’s even scarier about the release of Snooki’s fragrance is that it’s being dubbed “Snooki’s first perfume!” As if it wasn’t already frustrating enough that this nobody from the Shore is pulling in millions by getting wasted, dancing panty-less, and ‘smushing’ randoms, she now stands to profit gazillions, as her guidette fans line up in droves to purchase her perfume to smell like……….dill pickles? Ladies, if this scent won’t land you a juicehead gorilla guido, I don’t know what will!!

This definitely puts the Ew in Eau du Toilette.

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via YouTube

Tags: celebrities, perfume, Snooki
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Material Girl Tackles the Grid Iron

December 5, 2011 in Celebrities, Entertainment, Football, Hotties, Music, Sports, TV

The worst-kept secret in sports and music has finally been confirmed: Madonna will perform at the halftime show at Super Bowl XLVI on February 5, 2011. This news has been rumored for months but with no confirmation. Finally the Packers can relax and worry about a perfect season, instead of who will be following Aaron Rodgers’ multi-touchdown first half.

The 53-year-old, who still sparks a forest fire in men’s pants for some reason, is excited to be the first single female performer since the infamous Janet Jackson ‘nip-slip’. She has reportedly revealed that she has known for a while that she would say yes to the opportunity, but wanted to get in better shape in case of an accidental vag showing. Keep up the Kegel exercise, you Kabbalah embracing little minx, it will surely be the most excitement the Indianapolis viewing area has had in a while.

If Madonna playing the Superbowl in Indianapolis isn’t enough to get your motor running, here are some sexy pictures to help get the ball rolling.

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Tags: celebrities, football, hotties, Madonna, Super Bowl
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That Was then and This is Now – Hollywood Edition

December 3, 2011 in Celebrities, Entertainment, Just Plain Funny, Movies, TV

Since reality television has graced its ugly head on society, the public could always count on some type of washed up celebrity gossip.

Whether TV crews were filming step by step footage of an ex-child star’s rehab process with their rich families, who have no significance to this planet, ’reality’ in some way has let us down. Who are these people who care so much about others despair and glory? In fact, it’s YOU! Are our lives, here in Lamesville, so boring that we turn to these pointless shows to give us satisfactory in our own life? Whatever the case may be, remember, these are all lonely individuals who feed off of your retinas, which are slowly crusting over from lack of movement. They show no weakness, and will continue to punish society with nonsense.

To all pointless stars everywhere, once again you are making a list. Don’t worry! It’s not the ‘cocaine with a little ass play’ buyer’s list from Andy Dick’s personal collection. This is the NewsFlask.com, new reality-show pitch: ‘Survival of the Whitest!’

Survival of the Whitest is a show based around, you guessed it, unimportant white people who have been disregarded because of a more talented ethnicity. And now they are teaming up to take television back.

1. Carrie Fisher – Actually, at one time we believe Carrie made the Andy Dick list. But to all ‘smoke-shows’ out there; be careful of the gate-way drugs or you’ll end up like this. Her job on our show will be helping younger stars by getting them in contact with hers (or dealer).

Then – Every boy’s fantasy

Now – Who knows?

2. Tara Reid – At one time she was a super hot chick, who now has been downgraded to a pointless rich chick with bad breath. Tara will be the ‘sex’ factor of our show.

Then – Orgasmic star of the American Pie franchise